Summary of Key Points
This article explores the real difficulties of "escaping from big cities like Beijing, Shanghai, and Guangzhou" through the author's personal experiences and the stories of people around them: it's not about not wanting to return to smaller towns, but rather the dilemma of whether one can or dares to do so. The article reveals the true differences between big cities and small towns from various perspectives—income disparities, social relationships, spiritual needs, resource availability, and personal development. On the surface, it seems like a choice of city, but in reality, it's about weighing lifestyle, risk resistance, and future possibilities. There is no absolute right or wrong; it's all about what suits you best.
1. Money: The Salary in Big Cities—is It Enough to Be Reckless?
Money is the first hurdle that cannot be ignored. The author cites two examples of classmates: one programmer in Shanghai earns an annual salary of 450,000 yuan after working for seven years, while another from a state-owned enterprise in Taiyuan earns just over 100,000 yuan per year—a four-fold difference. More importantly is the rate of salary growth: the Shanghai-based classmate's salary increased by 30% after switching jobs, whereas the classmate from their hometown only saw a 1,300 yuan increase after seven years.
However, money is more than just numbers. The Shanghai-based classmate saved 600,000 yuan in three years to pay a down payment for a house, while the classmate from their hometown couldn't save even 200,000 yuan in the same amount of time. With savings, you have the freedom to quit your job without worry, enroll in training courses, or afford medical treatment for your parents without borrowing money. But with a monthly salary of 5,000 yuan, even taking two days off means worrying about rent, and you might not dare to go to the hospital if you have a fever. Money isn't everything, but without it, life is truly difficult—this is the most practical reason why many people are reluctant to return.
2. Social Relationships vs. Rules: Small Towns Rely on Connections, Big Cities on Rules
The "social relationship-based society" in small towns is a pitfall that many people discover after moving back. The author's friend had to rely on connections to obtain a business license in Yantai, find favors for their child's schooling, and queue up for medical check-ups with acquaintances, spending a lot of money on social gatherings. In Hangzhou, however, you just need to follow the procedures and don't have to worry about personal relationships.
There are also differences in holiday greetings: eight relatives asked about marriage, five about salary, and one uncle insisted on giving them new underwear as a gift. In Shanghai, you can go home for three days without anyone bothering you; this sense of privacy and boundaries is something that doesn't exist in small towns.
3. The Illusion of a Slow Life: The Beauty in Short Videos Hides the Reality
The slow life in small towns depicted on short videos (with small courtyards, vegetable gardens, and cooking smoke) is very popular at night, especially among working people who seek comfort after a tiring day. But what's the reality? Offices full of intrigue, bosses delaying salary payments, neighbors arguing, and endless social obligations (spending half of your monthly salary on gifts). These "troubles" are not shown in the videos, just like how only photos that have been edited are shared on social media.
More importantly, a slow life requires certain skills; you can't simply achieve it by moving to a different place. During the pandemic lockdown, the author felt comfortable at first but became anxious after a week of idleness. People who are always under pressure from deadlines feel anxious when they suddenly have free time. The desire to progress remains an inner drive that binds you wherever you go.
4. Resource Disparities: Education and Healthcare Are Crucial
Good hospitals and schools are concentrated in big cities. You might manage in small towns when you're young, but when your children need education or your parents need medical care, the limitations become apparent. For example, getting into a prestigious school in a small town may require connections, and serious illnesses may require a long wait for treatment in big cities.
5. Personal Development: Big Cities Offer More Opportunities, Small Towns Have Limited Growth
In big cities, ordinary people can move forward as long as they are willing to work hard. For instance, the author's classmate in Shanghai got a higher salary after switching jobs, while their cousin in Hefei lost all their savings trying to start a business and now earns 6,000 yuan per month with only one day off per week, plus having to attend social events at work.
In small towns, opportunities are fewer, and career advancement is limited. The author's classmate from their hometown saw only a 1,300 yuan increase in seven years, and their boss even said, "Don't focus too much on money." This advice seemed reasonable when they just graduated, but after two years of work, they realized it was nonsense.
Finally: There's No Standard Answer; Choose What Suits You
The article doesn't suggest one should stay or leave. If your family can arrange a job for you and you prefer stability, returning to a small town might be a good choice. Those who stay in big cities do so not out of vanity but because they want to achieve more through their efforts. It's normal to feel envious of the slower pace of life in small towns; take a break if you need it, but don't quit your job on a whim. The people who return to villages to open coffee shops either have a solid financial foundation or are financially independent—these situations are different from the average person returning to work.
There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to moving. Just live well today; worry about the future when the time comes.
This article hits on many people's pain points with very real stories: our dilemma isn't about the city itself, but the gap between the "life we want" and the "life we can actually lead." Understanding this will help you realize that there are no absolute good or bad choices; as long as it's what you've chosen, you won't have to regret it.