Summary of the Key Points
This article uses the concept of "first principles" to analyze the emotion of jealousy: it is not an inborn "evil" trait, but rather a survival alert mechanism left by our ancestors in times of scarce resources—reminding us that if others acquire more resources, we might not survive. However, as society evolved from tribes to city-states, religions suppressed this instinct in order to maintain order. In the internet era, algorithms have turned the world's most successful individuals into our "fake neighbors," causing this ancient warning system to malfunction frequently, leading to anxiety and even hostility. The article concludes with practical methods for turning off these "false alarms."
1. Jealousy is not a bad emotion; it's an ancestral survival mechanism
In primitive tribes, food, shelter, and partners were limited. If a neighbor ate more meat, you might go hungry; if they secured a better cave, you would have to sleep outdoors. The brain's "jealousy alarm" would sound—feeling suffocated and constantly wondering, "Why them?" This is not being petty, but a reminder: "Act quickly, or you'll be left behind!" The purpose of the alarm is to urge you to either seek more resources (healthy competition) or secretly undermine others' gains (unhealthy competition). Nature only cares about the outcome—whether you survive, regardless of your methods. Therefore, jealousy is essentially a "survival warning system" that simply alerts you, without prescribing a specific course of action.
2. Why did religions consider jealousy a "serious sin?"
As humans moved from small tribes to large city-states, jealousy became a social poison. If everyone destroyed others' homes or poisoned their crops at the sight of wealth, who would be motivated to work together on infrastructure or defend against enemies? Religions used the authority of deities to suppress this alarm, such as the Ten Commandments prohibiting coveting neighbors' property—even just thinking about it was considered a sin, as those thoughts could lead to action. They also taught that "God sees fairness, and jealousy leads to hell." While these teachings did not eliminate jealousy, they prevented it from turning into destructive behavior. After all, success could attract envy, so people would choose to remain poor together to prevent one person from becoming wealthy, thus stalling societal progress.
3. The internet has intensified jealousy: too many "fake neighbors"
We no longer lack food, but the internet has amplified the effects of jealousy:
- The "fake tribe" effect: In ancient times, you only competed with a few people around you; now algorithms present the world's wealthiest and most socially active individuals to you. You know rationally that they have nothing to do with you, but your brain still perceives them as neighbors, leading to feelings of inadequacy (e.g., "Everyone has a Range Rover, except me, who takes the subway.")
- The alarm cannot be turned off: In ancient times, if you were jealous of someone like Wang, you could hunt two more rabbits to make up for it; now, even if you're jealous of a billionaire, you don't have the chance to take anything from them. The gap in wealth is vast, and without a way to address it, the alarm only intensifies, sometimes manifesting as mockery towards strangers (e.g., online anti-wealth rhetoric).
4. Three practical ways to turn off "false alarms"
Jealousy is not your fault; it's your brain misinterpreting a perceived threat to your survival. Try these three methods:
1. See through the "fake neighbors": When you see others sharing their luxury, remind yourself that their success doesn't take away your food. What you see is just a facade, not a reflection of your own worth. Reclassify them as strangers, and the alarm will diminish.
2. Focus on real relationships: Unfollow accounts that cause anxiety and spend more time with people around you. You can see the efforts and struggles of your colleagues and friends, and you can support each other. The screen shows only the rewards; reality reveals how much hard work goes into achieving them.
3. Find your own "wilderness": Don't try to compete in everything. Develop a hobby, master a skill, or help those who are not widely noticed. For example, if you enjoy gardening, don't compare your income with others; if you're good at repairing appliances, don't compare your followers with internet celebrities. Establish your own standards of success and stop constantly comparing yourself to the world.
Conclusion
Jealousy is not a demon; it's a "false alarm" caused by changing circumstances. Next time you feel jealous, ask yourself, "Has he really taken something from me?" Most of the time, the answer is no—it's just someone else's success, like a Range Rover passing by, making a loud noise. Maturity means being able to distinguish between true and false alarms and focusing on what you can control in your own life.