虎嗅

"Absurd Economics 02: Couples No Longer Need Real People to Argue; AI Can Do It for Them"

原文:《离谱经济学》02|情侣吵架已经不需要真人参加了,AI可以代吵

Summary of the Core Content

This news article discusses a phenomenon that is both amusing and somewhat distressing: AI is increasingly intervening in young people's romantic relationships—helping with writing dating profiles, engaging in flirtatious conversations, analyzing each other's thoughts, handling arguments and apologies, and even drafting breakup letters. This “human-machine collaboration” in romance has transformed the communication between two individuals into an “invisible tripartite relationship” (you + your partner + AI). Behind this lies not only the business calculations of capital regarding “emotional labor” but also a fundamental question: By providing us with advanced communication skills, will AI strip us of our ability to truly love?

Breakdown and Interpretation

1. AI Takes Over the Entire Romance Process: From Getting to Know Each Other to Breaking Up

In the past, dating involved putting a lot of thought into writing personal profiles and having meaningful conversations. Now, AI has become a sort of “romance cheat tool”:

  • Getting to Know Each Other: AI helps you write a profile for dating apps (e.g., “Kind and funny, loves cats and late-night eateries”) and comes up with opening lines for the first date (“I heard the tiramisu at this place is made by the owner from Italy—have you tried it?”).
  • Flirting: You take screenshots of your partner’s messages and ask AI if they are meant to be flirtatious; AI quickly analyzes them (“They used the word ‘we,’ suggesting a desire to get closer”).
  • Arguments: You send your partner’s harsh words to AI, and with a simple command like “Provide an objective analysis,” you get a report (“Your partner might have an avoidant attachment style; this statement is a defensive mechanism; you should first understand their emotions”).
  • Breaking Up: You ask AI to write a breakup letter that is gentle yet doesn’t leave room for reconciliation, and it generates one flawlessly.

In short, AI can handle all the mentally demanding aspects of communication in a relationship.

2. The Invisible “Third Party”: Romance Turns into a Conversation Between Two People and Two AI Systems

The most extreme scenario is when couples argue and each silently sends their messages to AI for processing. You receive an apology letter that seems well-written and sincere, only to find out it was generated by ChatGPT; the same goes for your responses. On the surface, you’re talking to each other, but in reality, two AI systems are having a “high-quality” conversation in the cloud.

Even more distressing is when people treat AI as a “secret confidant,” sharing things they never tell their partners because “AI won’t interrupt or judge me.” In this case, AI becomes an even closer “third party” than your actual partner—you’ve lost to a server, yet you can’t accuse your partner of being unfaithful.

3. What AI Really Sells: Not Just Chatting, but an “Exemption from Emotional Labor”

The reason people are willing to let AI do the work for them is that it allows them to shift responsibility.

The hardest part of romance is not falling in love but expressing those feelings—things like conveying “You don’t care about me” in a way that’s understandable to your partner, or apologizing sincerely without losing face. These are examples of “emotional labor.”

AI offers not just better ways to express yourself but also the comfort of not having to take responsibility for the consequences of your words. If your partner doesn’t accept your apology, you can say, “It was written by AI; maybe it didn’t convey my message clearly.” If they find your apologies too gentle, you can claim, “AI suggested that approach.”

4. Capital’s Calculations: Couples’ Problems Are Business Opportunities

The involvement of AI in romance is not incidental but part of precise capital strategies:

  • Dating Apps Don’t Want You to Find a Partner: Once you find someone, you’re likely to stop using the app, so they want you to keep looking.
  • Couples’ Apps See Problems as Sales Opportunities: People use these apps when they have conflicts—buying advice on communication, household management, parenting guidance, and even hiring AI lawyers for divorce settlements. It’s like a gym membership: the more “problems” you have, the more money they make.

For example, Arya’s acquisition of the dating app Flamme aims to turn relationship maintenance into a lifelong business model, sending monthly reports (“You had 14 ‘random’ encounters this month; consider a repair package”). The basic version points out issues, the premium version helps you shift blame, and the elite version even writes apologies on your behalf.

5. A Future Warning: If AI Handles All Communication, Will You Still Know How to Love?

The article’s speculative future scenarios are even more ironic:

  • AI Mediates Conflicts Automatically: Your AI notices you’re tired after an argument and discusses a low-stress resolution with your partner’s AI; ten minutes later, the system notifies you that the conflict is resolved without you knowing what happened.
  • AI Arranges Blind Dates: Two AI systems match partners based on values, income, and spending habits (94% compatibility), but when the real people meet, they dislike each other. The AI thinks it’s a good match, yet humans feel otherwise.

The truly frightening aspect is not that AI helps with communication but that it takes over the process entirely. The essence of a relationship lies in genuine interaction—mistakes, misunderstandings, and fatigue are all part of what makes two people connect. If AI solves all these issues, what’s left might just be an empty shell of a relationship, without the opportunity to truly understand each other.

In Conclusion

AI can help us say nice things, but it can’t understand human emotions. The purpose of dating is not about achieving perfect communication; it’s about learning how to love through the challenges we face together—a role that AI can never take on.