Summary of Key Points
This article dispels the misconception that all workplace distress is due to personal shortcomings, revealing the underlying psychological causes of anxiety, fatigue, and self-doubt: toxic environments in one’s first job (the “original workplace”), excessive work stemming from childhood trauma, the misplaced pursuit of meaning in life, and the impact of unemployment on one’s personality. The main goal of this article is to help people reduce self-blame—many workplace issues are not a result of being inadequate, but rather the influence of the environment, upbringing experiences, or external events.
1. Toxic “Original Workplace”: The First Job Can Be Just as Harmful as a Toxic Family
The “original workplace” refers to the first job an individual takes on, and its impact can be as detrimental as that of one’s family of origin. What constitutes a toxic workplace? It’s not just about encountering a difficult colleague occasionally; rather, it’s about bad practices that are accepted by the entire team, such as leaders frequently berating subordinates (abusive management), mutual exclusion among colleagues, and a general sense of injustice. These negative behaviors create a vicious cycle: when you see others behaving this way without consequences, you gradually adopt those behaviors yourself, leading to a hostile work environment.
The harm from a toxic workplace is subtle. You may begin to accept that “this is just the way things are” and eventually become depressed, isolated, and even lose motivation to work. If you cannot leave immediately, don’t force yourself to adapt. Setting boundaries (such as not responding to work emails after hours), seeking support from friends, and keeping evidence of problematic behavior (like recordings of leaders’ insults) are all effective ways to protect yourself.
2. Work Addiction? Could Be Caused by Childhood Trauma
Some employees are constantly overwhelmed with work but unable to stop: working overtime on weekends, responding to emails late at night, and repeatedly revising already approved plans. This is not a sign of hard work; it may be a consequence of childhood trauma. Studies have identified three common childhood experiences that contribute to this behavior:
- Parents who constantly emphasize the importance of being busy, making the employee feel worthless if they are not productive;
- A stressful home environment where escape was only possible through studying or working;
- Parents who rarely offer praise, so achievements were the only way to gain recognition, leading to a constant drive for more.
This tendency to overwork can be a form of self-protection (e.g., gaining a sense of security through activity in childhood), but in the workplace, it becomes harmful, both physically and emotionally, and may even be passed on to subordinates. Therefore, don’t blame yourself entirely; companies should also take responsibility by, for example, abolishing the “996” work culture or providing psychological support to help employees break this cycle.
3. The More You Search for Meaning in Work, the More Tired You Get? It Depends on How You Look for It
Many people want their work to be meaningful, but it often leads to more exhaustion. Research distinguishes between two types of “meaning”:
- Existing meaning: When you already feel a purpose in life (e.g., “I work to help others”), you are less likely to become burned out.
- Searching for meaning: If you constantly question the value of your work, it can be exhausting because it becomes a source of stress. It’s okay to seek meaning in your job, but don’t make it the sole purpose of your life. The meaning of life can also be found in spending time with family or pursuing hobbies.
4. Does Unemployment Change Your Personality? Yes, But Not Completely
Unemployment (e.g., being laid off) not only results in a loss of income but can also alter one’s personality. Studies show that unemployed individuals may become less outgoing, less friendly, and less reliable, with more unstable emotions. However, these changes are temporary. Once you find a new job or adapt to the new situation, your personality will gradually return to its previous state.
In Conclusion
Much of the distress in the workplace is not your fault. Understanding the underlying reasons for it is not about shirking responsibility but about reducing self-doubt. You don’t need to become perfect to adapt to everything; there are circumstances that shouldn’t be borne solely by you. Taking care of yourself is of utmost importance.