Summary of the Main Points
This article explores how Chinese people's attitudes towards sex have evolved from being "regulated by others" to "personal choices," and it also discusses the recent phenomenon of a "decline in sexual activity." The central argument is that sex is not an innate instinct but is shaped by social norms, known as "sexual scripts." In the past, sex was strictly controlled by families and collectives. However, with the reform and opening up, personal privacy has gradually been respected. Nevertheless, the decline in sexual interest among young and middle-aged adults in recent years is attributed to various socio-economic and lifestyle factors.
Detailed Analysis
1. Is There an "Invisible Script" for Sex?
Have you noticed that there seems to be a common sequence of events when people fall in love: "confess feelings first, then hold hands, and finally meet the parents?" The same applies to sex, with an unwritten script that everyone follows, although no one formally teaches it. American sociologists refer to this as the "sexual script." This script consists of three layers:
- Social Consensus: For example, there is a belief that older people should not engage in sexual activity (yet surveys show that 26% of adults aged 75-85 still do so). This notion stems from traditional scripts that link sex to fertility, suggesting that sex should end once childbearing ends. There are also double standards based on gender: a 2025 survey showed that men are much less accepting of premarital sexual behavior in women than women themselves.
- Mutual Understanding: Things like saying "let's go to bed early" can be interpreted differently by different people; these rules are formed through everyday interactions.
- Personal Beliefs: Activities like candlelit dinners may seem romantic, but they are actually labeled as such by the script, which influences how people perceive and engage in sexual behavior. Desire itself is often influenced by the script, which tells us when we should feel desire.
In other words, sex is not simply about doing whatever we want; it is constrained by social norms.
2. Sex in the Past: Controlled by Families and Collectives
In traditional China, the sole purpose of sex was to procreate. Sexual activity between spouses was seen as a duty rather than an expression of affection. The separation of Lu You and Tang Wan was due to parents' concerns that their son's romantic feelings would distract him from his studies for the imperial examinations.
During the Republic of China period, the New Culture Movement promoted "free love," but this only affected urban educated individuals; in rural areas, parents and matchmakers still made decisions.
After the founding of the People's Republic of China, sex was even more strictly regulated by the state:
- Marriage required a letter of introduction from the workplace, and divorce needed approval from the organization.
- Staying in a hotel without a marriage certificate meant having two separate rooms.
- Extramarital sex was considered a "moral issue" and could even lead to charges of being a "hooligan." This broad definition of the crime applied to both homosexuality and consensual relationships; for example, actor Chi Zhiqiang was sentenced to four years for dancing cheek-to-cheek and having a consensual relationship.
- Clothing was designed to be plain and unattractive, with only female spies in films being portrayed as sexually appealing.
Sex was not a private matter at that time.
3. The Era of Reform and Opening Up: Sex Finally Became More Personal
Change began with a photo of a kiss on the cover of *Dazhong Film* in 1979, which sparked nationwide discussion about the acceptability of public displays of intimacy. In 1980, the scene where a woman kissed a man's cheek in *Lushan Love* became the "first kiss on the new Chinese cinema screen."
More significant changes came with legal and policy reforms:
- The "hooligan" crime was abolished in 1997, making consensual sexual activity between adults no longer illegal.
- The 1980 Marriage Law recognized "emotional breakdown" as a grounds for divorce, and judicial interpretations in 1989 stated that lack of sexual activity could lead to divorce, acknowledging sex as an important aspect of marriage.
- Family planning programs made contraception more accessible, separating sex from reproduction. This shift implied that sex could be for pleasure alone.
- In 2003, marriage and divorce no longer required proof from the workplace, and hotels stopped checking marriage certificates, marking the end of state control over personal lives.
Sex has finally become a matter of personal choice.
4. The Current Decline in Sexual Activity: Why Are Young and Middle-Aged People Less Interested?
Recent studies show that interest in sex is declining among younger people. In the United States, the proportion of 18-24-year-old men with no sexual activity has increased from 19% to 31%. In China, among those born in the 2000s, 13% of men and 17% of women have no sexual activity at all. Among those over 45 years old with a partner, half of the women and 40% of the men have less than one sexual encounter per month.
There are three main reasons for this decline:
- Delayed Maturation: Young people move out later and live independently, leaving them with less time to date and engage in sexual activity with their parents.
- Economic Pressure: Unemployed men in Japan are more likely to have no sexual experience; those with low incomes or unstable jobs struggle to find a partner.
- Competitive Entertainment: Spending time on short videos, watching dramas, and playing games is more convenient than engaging in sex, as these activities do not require time or fear of rejection, making sex less appealing.
The decline in sexual activity reflects the real challenges faced by young people and changes in their lifestyles.
5. The Evolution of Sex Education
Sex education has progressed from being completely taboo to being recognized as necessary. In the past, physiology classes often consisted of students reading from textbooks on their own. It was not until the revision of the *Minors Protection Law* in 2020 that "sex education" was officially included in the law.
However, there are still many questions about who should teach it, what to cover, and how to teach it effectively. For example, many schools still focus only on physiological aspects while avoiding important topics like consent and gender equality.
We have come a long way from prohibiting discussions about sex to recognizing its importance. But we still have a lot to do to ensure that children understand sex and know how to protect themselves.
Conclusion
The shift in Chinese people's attitudes towards sex from being controlled by families and collectives to personal choices is a sign of social progress. However, the current decline in sexual activity also reflects the pressures young people face and the changes in their lifestyles. Sex is not just a private matter; it is a reflection of broader societal changes. Every change in our attitudes towards sex reveals our pursuit of freedom, dignity, and happiness.