Summary of Key Points
The renowned British author Janet Wintherson visited Shanghai to participate in a literary event with her new book, "Love Is Like Lifting a Heavy Stone Without Knowing Why." She engaged in discussions with the writer Yu Si at Sinan Literature House and interacted with the debate champion Zhan Qingyun at Shanghai Book City. The events were incredibly popular, and Wintherson specifically allowed readers who had not made reservations to enter the venues. During her talks, she shared unique perspectives on topics such as "love," "family of origin," and "reading and writing": love requires courage and resilience; heartbreak can heal; friendship represents a higher form of love than romantic relationships; and through reading and writing, one can reconstruct their personal narrative to overcome the trauma from their family of origin; ordinary people can also change their realities through their thoughts.
1. "Afraid to Love? That's Probably Due to Lack of Reading and Courage"
In response to the confusion of young people about being afraid to love, Wintherson first joked about their lack of reading, then explained seriously: modern society values efficiency and immediate gratification, but consumerism and fleeting pleasures cannot solve inner turmoil. Many believe that love can save everything, but one must first address their own problems. She disagreed with the notion that "love can save lives," saying, "That would be a mistake." Love requires resilience, self-respect, and imagination—daring to take risks and not being afraid of pain; even if you get hurt, it's possible to heal. "Never having loved at all is the real bad choice."
Surprisingly, she also argued that romantic love is not essential, suggesting that friendship is a more significant form of love, and maintaining friendships or owning pets is more important than pursuing attractive partners.
2. Overcoming Trauma from Family of Origin: "Rewriting Your Story"
Wintherson was adopted, and the selfishness of her adoptive parents left her feeling unloved in her childhood. However, she did not dwell on her feelings as a victim but offered a guide for self-help: "You can rewrite your own past." She explained that the brain is capable of relearning, and by understanding childhood traumas from an adult perspective, you are essentially rewriting your narrative. "You are your own story," so don't waste your life living according to someone else's script (such as your parents'). Zhan Qingyun also mentioned that this idea had helped her, highlighting its practical therapeutic power.
3. Reading and Writing as a "Magic Key" to Building Your Own World
Wintherson used reading to escape oppression in her childhood: "While reading, I realized I could become different characters in various stories." She emphasized that even if reality (such as your family of origin) is harsh, you can create your own narrative through reading and writing—this is not escapism but actively shaping your destiny. For ordinary people, she advised, "Emancipate your mind and get rid of outdated ideas." The brain and thoughts are powerful; you can use them to create a new reality. For example, if you think you are destined for misfortune, change your narrative: "I can redefine my life," and gradually, things will change.
4. Event Details: Wintherson's Warmth and Readers' Enthusiasm
The event at Shanghai Book City was packed with people long in advance, with unreserved young readers waiting outside. Seeing this, Wintherson offered them the chance to enter, and a group of them was able to participate. Zhan Qingyun had previously interacted with Wintherson online and recommended her books multiple times; one reader at the event mentioned that they had read five books recommended by her, which caused laughter in the audience. The two women from different backgrounds (an author and a debate champion) led discussions about reading, love, and AI, creating a relaxed and engaging atmosphere that made the literary event more welcoming and less formal.
5. Wintherson: A Blend of Romance and Reality
Wintherson describes herself as "positive, romantic, and realistic." Her sense of romance is not wishful thinking but a pragmatic approach to changing the world through action—daring to love, rewrite your story, and use reading and writing to rebuild yourself. This balanced attitude, which combines realism with imagination, is likely what resonates with young readers. She doesn't offer empty promises but provides a practical tool to take control of their own lives.
Overall, Wintherson's insights are based on her personal experiences, addressing common concerns among young people (fear of love and family-of-origin issues) while offering tangible solutions (reading, storytelling, making friends). Her approach makes literature not just about reading but also about taking action.